Jessica and Spencer Sitting in a Tree....Not!

tonight i took my daughters and a friend's children shopping at the mall.  We had fun trying to figure out what to buy who, how to sneak bags around so no would guess what they were, or where they were from.  my twelve year old is in the interesting position of "going out" with the brother, pictured, of her best friend.  My nine year old is also friends with and in class with this family's 9 year old, and believe it or not there are two more boys close in age that they all get along with, along with a seventeen year old who adores my nine year old.  Needless to say this family is quite the blessing to us.

So we're walking, talking, laughing, when suddenly it dawns on me.  My daughter and Spencer are holding hands!!!!  He is holding my daughter's hand.  I've heard he does this, but seeing it for the first time was, well, weird.  Hard to tell from the photo but she's twelve and he's thriteen.  He looks much older, and the first time he showed up at my house I thought he was seventeen or so and ready to bang him over the head with something hard and metal.  or a rolling pin.  or a 2x4.  Either way the only reason I gave my ok to this "relationship" was because at the time he lived four hours away.  How could I know he was moving up here, and would eventually be in her class, her church, her youth group?  I'll tell ya something else.  I really like him.  I don't always want to, but I DO!!!  He loves God.  He respects her limits, which presently I'm ok with since I don't think he's done more then hug her and hold her hand.  I know he thinks he's kissing her on her birthday, which is Valentine's Day.  But we'll see.....

I guess what this display brought to mind was the fact that she wants to hold his hand.  It doesn't gross her out.  Some day other things won't gross her out and then what?  She is sensitive to the Spirit's proding, and so far it's served us her well.  But I pray every day that it will continue to.  Please oh please God protect these kids from the desires that they don't know what to do with.  Help them be obidient to You and want what You want for them.  Help me help my daughter when she's confused, angry, has emotions she's to young to understand.  Because as much as I fear her having a boyfriend and all the feelings and desires that come with that, I fear her heart breaking if he breaks up with her.

Remember when the kids were little and the work seemed so hard?  I thought those days were so difficult, never ending care, entertainment, carrying car seats and toddlers, tantrums at the worst possible times, sleep, food, lunches, all dictated by these tiny people!  It seems so desireable right at this moment.

Comments

[Hope]

I hear you on this one. I have a 17 year old who will be 18 in 2 weeks. His girlfriend turned 15 at the end of October. They are sexually active. They are open to both sets of parents so we all know. I've had a few words with him about this but it is very hard to let go. Long gone are the days when I could send him to his room when he did something I didn't approve of. Sigh.

[Karyn]

Oh Hope,
I don't even know what to say! You poor soul!! I know these days are coming and I'm freaking out. I don't know what to do when she'll actually want to kiss (or more) her boyfriend. Can a twelve year old really have a boyfriend?
Love and peace to you!!!!
Karyn

[Bama Mom]

Oh girl! Yes, I am with you on having a 12, almost 13, year old daughter who thinks every time I open my mouth it is a lecture when actually it is only trying to have some sort of dialogue. And as for the holding hands and kissing...well, I know it isn't too far away, but it is a trip I really don't look forward to making.

Glad I found your 'other site'.