Let no unwholesome word proceed from your lips, but those that are for the edification of others.
So today I decided to start practicing what was preached. Our church is preparing for new leadership, and the lase two weeks have been devoted to things that will help our congregation prepare for who ever this new Pastor will be. I'm new here, since I've only been going to this church for a few months. But it is the school where my girls are entering their third year, so I have a love and connection with the people, teaching and even the building!
Ok, back to the guilt part of our time together. Have you ever tried to go an hour, just one hour, without saying anything hurtful? Better yet, trying to build up others with words? I'm not naive, I understand life in the real world and don't expect to be perfect. That's what Christ is for. But I do want to be the kind of person who can go a day without some of the thoughts in my head turning into words that burn my own toungue. Not to mention Chris. My Chris, who in his own life struggles so much with the power of his words. I have used this verse on him many times, and today he got to hear it straight from the Preacher's mouth. He was very quiet after church, pondering the fact that he, as he put it, "cannot control what comes out of his mouth" at times. I could tell he was struggling as he wondered the sourse of his failing. "Why", he asked, "why do I get to a point where I can't stop myself from saying something, when I know it's the wrong thing to say?". Obviously there has to be supernatural help in these matters. But even with said help I find myself thinking first and then saying things that I don't want to. So I decided the place to start was in my thoughts. Holding every thought captive, I stopped myself short every time something mean, evil, wrong, foul etc. popped into my little brain. It was a constant battle. I see my neighbor and boom, I'm thinking "don't you have a family to go wreck?", I get cut off on the road and four letter words abound. My dog won't stop barking and my last nerve snaps and I'm thinking "SHUT UP" and about to screach it when my Colette comes up behind me with a question.
I want my mind to be clean. That's it. I don't care what the rest of the world is doing, I want to think nice things, say nice things, and not always have a retort dripping off my tongue. I think that I've had to defend myself so much that I've lost touch with what is the right way for me to do so without compromising my values. And, if I'm really honest, it's easier to just say it then expend the energy to catch myself and stop. But I have decided I will. People may choose to do something different, and I have no doubt that my girls and I will have to deal with those who hurt with words again and again, especially given my neighbor. I just know hearing my Pastor teaching today I cannot use other's actions as an excuse to be someone I don't like. And there is Chris. I want to be an example for him. I don't want to be a hyporcirte, quoting a verse one minute then yelling at my neighbor the next. So I will try.
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