Today as I read Susie's post on addiction, (http://sam.typepad.com/sojournministries/), I was overcome with remorse for posting about my situation with my neighbor. I had thought of hitting the delete button, but I want to be authentic here and so I decided against it. It's how I was and am feeling, and if it's wrong I'll deal with it. To be truly honest while I was typing the first two posts I deleted a ton of information because of the nature of their story. To write it all would fill pages upon pages of activities and consequences that, though would help one to see my point clearer, started to make me feel like a Pharasie.
The ironic thing is that the more his addictions are revealed, and the more they have suffered unbearable, painful consequences, the more judgemental of me they have become. After reading Susie's post I understand why so much more. I will add here that this behavior on their part is why their words, tone and attitude is so painful.
But the Pharasies of Jesus' time were the ones that He spoke to the harshest. Yet if one ever realized his sin Jesus was so quick to forgive. When I taught Sunday School I always loved teaching on Zacharias. I loved how he felt when Jesus told him to get down from the tree, to prepare to lunch with him. That is the dignity that Susie speaks of. Did it negate any of the damage Zacharias had caused? No. But from that day forward, after his encounter with Jesus, his life was forever changed and he gave back. A true encounter with Jesus should lead to humility, shouldn't it? Zacharias never puffed up and said "look, I'd love to give back what I've taken, but hey, Jesus ate with me today so I must be better then y'all."
Let he who is without sin......and they dropped their stones. I guess that's why I struggled so much with their attitude. Given his sin, her sin, (vanity? caring about appearances to the point of harming her children? Thinking she's so much better than everyone because her home is pretty or her life looks good, and needing that more than honesty to God? Dispensing communion elements under false pretenses, again because it made her feel she achieved some status in her church? I don't even know if any of this is sin or simply irritating to me!) I just can't believe they would treat anyone, not just me or my family, but anyone in such a manner.
Susie's post offers an option for handling addictions. It also offers options for how we can handle the addictions we see in others with the example Jesus offers us.
So I will leave my posts up with the hope that I don't sound like a Pharisee. I will admit that i struggle with my own addictions. I will continue to seek His will in how I handle this issue with my neighbors, my anger. I will remember the dignity Jesus offers. I will focus on how He handled sin in others, how he never judged harshly but pitied the enslavement. And Lord willing, I will deal with myself and others with this in mind.
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