The Need to Attack

Ok, so maybe the picture is a little harsh for what I'm thinking about, or maybe it fits with the spirit of what's on this woman's mind tonight. 

I sit and ponder why so many people, so many relationships have an adversarial tone to them.  I'm constantly amazed by the way one human being will talk to another.  Or how one person who has flaws, sin and everything else that we all have sets himself above so that nothing is ever that persons fault.  What makes us so insecure that even with those we are in intimate relationship with we still need to attack and defend ourselves. I struggle so much with how we use our words with one another.  With one sentence I can make somebody tremble with joy or break their heart and make them feel ugly.  Aren't we all aware of this power our words and actions have?  Shouldn't we be protecting our loved ones at any cost against the hurt others can cause them, instead of being the one from whom they need protection?  Yes, tonight a simple case of hurt feelings, mine, has led me to write, but that doesn't negate that for years now I've marveled t how we cause harm to one another with careless words.  Tonight the water in my basement rose and carpet is now soaked.  This happened because while the storm was doing it's damage my daughters and I were cuddled up in my bed under the covers with the lights off marveling at God's amazing power.  Since we haven't flooded in the last three storms I figured we were safe.  Then he came home and noticed how I "neglected" to check, and now the floor is wet.  The first thing he felt it necessary to do was assign blame and make me feel stupid.  Instead of asking what I was doing it was more important to find someone to blame, me, and use his words to make me feel stupid.   Never mind the fact that in the last four storms I stood outside sweeping the drain because though he promised he never swept the stairs so leaves and dirt have gathered at the drain and blocked it.  Not only have I swept it, but I created a filter of sorts to try to prevent the gathering waters from invading my home, but tonight it was to no avail.  Mother nature out witted me and my daughter's soft sweet smell and feel snuggled up against me was to tempting. 

I do understand about knee-jerk reactions.  What I don't understand is why we need to find blame and attack the ones we supposedly love.  In his first two minutes home the mood in my house changed, and I find that unacceptable.  It really is true, if you don't have something nice....

Comments

[natala]

a book that helped me understand this about people is called "emotional blackmail" by Susan Foward (sp?)
it's a good one to read, regarding why people might do the things they do.

[Roman]

Words do carry with them an extreme ammount of power, but I think the more someone understands the power of words, the less likely they are to hurt someone they love, unless that is what they really want. Natala (my sister) can tell you that we know of certain people who are not as...educated with words or how to use them and have said some pretty hurtfull things to us out of ignorance. If someone says something out of a reaction, don't let it bother you, they're just showing their ignorance with the power of words.